When You Don’t Know How to Respond in the Moment

Written by Jenelle McClenahen

We’ve all been there… that split second when a student says or does something and you freeze for half a beat thinking, “I don’t know how to respond.”
It’s the classic teacher struggle. No one’s at fault, we’re human. And yet, teaching is nothing but social interactions that demand instant decisions with no time to think through every scenario.

So what do you do when your brain blanks out mid-moment? Here are 5 ways to respond when you don’t know what to do (yet):

1. Name what you notice

If you’re unsure, start by describing what you see.
“Looks like that didn’t go how you expected.” or “You seem frustrated.”
It buys you time and shows the student you’re paying attention, not reacting.

2. Pause instead of fill

Silence is powerful. A short pause signals that you’re thinking, not ignoring. Students learn that not every situation needs an instant fix or lecture.

3. Ask a neutral question

Try: “What happened right before that?” or “Can you tell me what you were hoping would happen?”
Questions shift the focus from behavior to reflection and they slow everyone’s nervous system down (including yours).

4. Default to connection

When in doubt, connect before you correct.
Even a simple, “Hey, I know this feels off. Let’s figure it out,” grounds both of you and keeps trust intact.

5. Reflect after, not during

You don’t have to have the perfect response in the moment. What matters most is circling back - later, when everyone’s calm, to repair, reteach, or reinforce what was needed.

Bottom line:

You’re not supposed to have all the answers. You’re supposed to model what learning in real time looks like. Because teaching isn’t about knowing what to say — it’s about knowing how to come back to the moment with care and curiosity.